Take a Breath

Take a Breath

I once had a workshop participant ask me during a mindfulness presentation, “Why do we spend so much time talking about breathing?” They had a good point, we do tend to talk a lot about breathing and the breath when developing a mindfulness practice; and, there are other ways to calm the central nervous system and bring us out of our thoughts into the present moment. So why then do we spend so much time on something so innocuous and seemingly boring as the breath?

Permit me to lay out the rationale. But first, let’s pause for a second and take a deep breath in through our nose. Now hold it for a couple of seconds and slowly let it out, either through the nose or mouth. That first one was just for practice. Let’s do it again . . . in . . . hold . . . out. And one more for good measure. A deep breath in . . . . . . and out.

How did that make you feel? Do you notice any changes in your body? In your heart rate? In your concentration on reading this post? So what exactly is going on?

The act of taking slow, deep breaths triggers a cascade of mind-body systems that can result in increased comfort, relaxation, vigor, and alertness, and reduced symptoms of confusion, anxiety, depression, and anger. — US Department of Health and Human Services

From a physiological standpoint—

According to the US department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families (Co-Regulation in Practice)

“Research has shown the positive impact deep breathing has on our bodies’ ability to deal with stress. A successful breath supplies our bodies with oxygen, regulates the pH of our blood, supports blood pressure control, and replenishes the brain and vital organs with essential nutrients. The act of taking slow, deep breaths triggers a cascade of mind-body systems that can result in increased comfort, relaxation, vigor, and alertness, and reduced symptoms of confusion, anxiety, depression, and anger.

Take for example when we are feeling strong emotions like stress. When we experience stress, our breathing gets shallow and fast. This kind of breathing can narrow our perspective and increase anxiety and anger. Prolonged periods of stress can mean we breathe shallowly over time. As a result, we can have trouble connecting with others and staying alert, our cognitive abilities go slack, and it can be hard to have fun. Fortunately, we can override this state by building breathing skills.”

You might be thinking to yourself, “Well, I do other things to relieve my stress and anxiety.” Great! Keep doing that if it is working for you, and let’s get back to “why focus on the breath?”

There is no special equipment needed. You don’t need to remember to grab it on your way out the door. You also don’t have to schedule time to access your breath.

From a practical standpoint—

Quite simply, your breath is always with you. There is no special equipment needed. You don’t need to remember to grab it on your way out the door. You also don’t have to schedule time to access your breath. It is always there and easy to access (and nobody has to know you are doing it). It is the simplest of things and yet very complex.

However, just because it is readily available does not mean we will remember to use it to our advantage when dealing with strong emotional reactions or difficulties with concentrating or problem solving. That is why it is really important to intentionally take some time out of each and every day to sit for ten or fifteen minutes and focus on our breath. Developing a daily practice will help you to not only feel the benefits of focused breathing, but it will also help to remind you that you have that tool available when things begin to become stirred up.

So how exactly do you use your breath from a self-regulation standpoint?

Go ahead and take a couple of deep breaths. This will short-circuit your amygdala from going into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode.

From a application standpoint—

Practice focusing on your breath during intense conversations. When you find the energy during a conversation with someone is becoming heightened, shift your focus slightly to your breathing. Go ahead and take a couple of deep breaths. This will short-circuit your amygdala from going into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. Also, building in a pause before responding to a heated inquiry allows you to formulate a response rather than firing off a reaction.

Pro-tip for really heated discussion, particularly if you are on the receiving end: Turn your body to a right angle from your engagement partner. They are obviously dispelling a lot of energy in the moment so it best not to be directly in its path. Let it move right past you. This repositioning will also help you to better focus on your breath and remain grounded.

Practice focusing on your breath when you are struggling to focus. When you find your thoughts bouncing around all over the place, take a pause and focus on your breath. Breathing is a physical sensation, thoughts are mental formations. When you shift your focus from your mind to your breath it allows some of the frenetic energy in your head to settle. You may need to focus on your breathing for a few moments as our brains love to come up with thoughts. And don’t assume that focussing on your breath will eliminate your thoughts. A lot of people make that assumption when starting a mindfulness or meditation practice. The mind is going to do its thing and any attempts to try and stop it will only be met by frustration and quite often self-flagellation.

What focusing on the breath does do is, again, to disengage the amygdala from going into hyperalert. It helps to ground your thinking so that it is less wrapped up in emotional reactivity. And then it helps you to actually see and notice your thoughts more clearly and from a more rational place.

Pro-tip for when your thoughts just don’t seem to be able to settle down: Go do something physical in addition to focusing on your breath. Go take a walk, drink a cup of tea, dance in your living room, all the while returning to and focussing on your breath. Any activity that gets you out of thinking mode and more into physical sensation mode will help to reset you. It’s the equivalent of unplugging your modem and plugging it back in again.

Practice focusing on your breath when you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, sad, bored . . . . See the above. Anytime you sense that your emotional state is entering into reactivity or is heightened, pause and shift your focus to your breath. Breathing is a present moment experience. After some practice, it will help you to stop time traveling, where you are either worrying about the future or ruminating about the past. Simply rest in the present moment with your breath.

Here are a couple of other times where breath work comes in handy—

When you sit down to eat. This can help you to shift your focus to the sensations of eating rather than the mechanics of eating. You may begin to notice when you are feeling full, or when something doesn’t taste right, or when you are eating as a replacement for some other need that is calling for attention.

Before you begin a new activity. Doing breath work when transitioning from one activity to another really helps to shift your focus to the new task at hand. It helps you to leave what you were doing and become more centered in the present moment. Often the results of this practice are greater enjoyment in what you are doing, fewer mistakes, and improved problem solving abilities.

. . . one of the greatest gifts we can give a child is the tool of using their breath.

When engaging with children. I have found that one of the greatest gifts we can give a child is the tool of using their breath. Here are a couple of ways you can share this gift with them.

• First, when they are upset, before you launch into any problem solving strategies or behavior corrections, pause and take some breaths together, and by “some” I mean it could be A LOT. Even if they resist, you go right ahead and start your own breathing practice. I find that if you exaggerate it a bit, i.e. put your hand on your belly, draw in a big breath allowing your belly to extend, and then audibly releasing you breath; that this can cause a brief distraction that will help to shift your child’s focus. They may keep on emoting, but you just keep on breathing.

  Here’s the thing, while you are doing all that to help teach your child the benefits of focusing on their breath, you are keeping yourself more grounded and less reactive. Also, often children will subconsciously begin to mimic your breathing pattern.

• Second, encourage your child to do their own focused breathing practice. You can go online and find recipes for “Mind Jars,” or you can purchase a Hoberman sphere. These are both wonderful tools where you can help your child to learn self-regulation skills. The mind jar is simply an enclosed jar of liquid filled with glitter or sparkles. It is a metaphor for the brain when it is all agitated with emotion. You have your child shake up the jar to stir up the contents, then you invite them to sit quietly focusing on their breath until all the objects floating in the water settle.

  The Hoberman sphere is a virtually hypnotic device that children love. Again, when they are upset, have them sit quietly and expand and contract the sphere along with their breath. You might have to get them started, but once their breathing parallels the movement of the sphere you can hand it over to them.

• Third, encourage your child to do breath practices when they are not experiencing strong emotions. As outlined above, encourage this practice during transitions, before starting a new task, before eating . . . . I like to invite children to come up with fun and creative breathing techniques. For example, imagine a feather floating down from the sky, take a deep breath in and then slowly let it out and blow that feather around the room. It’s a cold winter’s day and you are holding a cup of very hot cocoa (pretend to be holding a cup gingerly). Take a deep breath and blow it over your cocoa to cool it down. Take a sip. Still too hot? Blow again. Time to blow up a giant balloon or fog up a mirror . . . . You get the idea.

  By providing your child with this invaluable tool early in life gives them a longer opportunity to practice focusing on their breath. So, later in life when they are dealing with an irate customer . . . angry boss . . . their own child, they will be able to benefit from knowing they can access this tool, which is always present and available.

Now if you are still thinking focusing on your breath is pointless, well, let’s just say the alternative to breathing is probably worse.

Angrrry Baby © Harald Groven